Oct 10, 2012 - Musings, Personal    15 Comments

People With Too Much Time On Their Hands

One of this blog’s most loyal and long-time readers is a guy named Kevin Johnson who, according to the comments he occasionally leaves, can be reached at prospectorguy@gmail.com. Readers who follow comments might not recognize this name because I delete the majority of Kevin’s comments.

It’s rare that I moderate legitimate comments on this blog. I might correct someone’s spelling if they might as me to or delete a duplicate post, but I won’t delete a comment just because I disagree with the person’s opinion.

So why do I delete Kevin’s comments? It’s because Kevin is a bully. His comments are mean spirited and do not promote positive dialogue. One thing I find interesting about Kevin is that he uses an email address that can be traced to a real name. So he’s not talking behind my back, but rather right to my face. I like this because it lets me get right back into this face and publicly call him out.

Kevin left a comment this afternoon that bears addressing. In reply to my latest post where I joked about being a catch, he commented negatively about my weight, looks, and affinity for cats, then wished me luck in finding a partner, as though any of that has any bearing on my character and suitability as a potential mate.

He’s not the first person in my life to use objective facts as weapons of attack against my personality. That’s how bullies think. They create a flaw in another person in order to make themselves feel better about themselves. So attacks by bullies have nothing to do with the target, but rather with the bully’s own low self-esteem.

Kevin, you obviously have too much time on your hands. Have you thought of volunteering or taking up a hobby like a sport of craft? Such enriching activities will help you develop new skills, which is a great self-esteem booster. A therapist can also help you work on your self-esteem issues. There’s absolutely no shame in asking for help.

I feel really bad for people like Kevin and wonder what made him a bully. Did he lack parental love? Was he bullied himself? All I know is he must feel very poorly about himself if trolling a blog with the sole purpose of attacking the blogger passes as a fun activity.

Pity the trolls, folks, rather than be angered by them.

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15 Comments

  • Wow!

    I am saddened that you have to deal with him at all, but glad he is at a distance and not your spouse, for example.

    What you’ve said is so insightful. It is obvious, really, but when someone is in the thick of it it can be hard to see the bullying for what it is. Thank you.

  • He’s not the first person in my life to treat me like that and won’t be the last. Whatever. I’m not going to lose any sleep over him. I just thought it was time for a public shaming since bullies HATE being called on their bad behaviour. It’s fun to see them react!

  • I still say your comment brought a smile to my face 🙂
    We will just have to ignore the Morons out there!

  • Better to ignore negative people, that’s what the delete key is for.
    Bullies suck.

  • My mother says that it is far better to light one candle than curse the darkness. That is what you did, Rae, with your response. Thank you for your grace and beauty.

    I hope you can set up a spam filter so Kevin’s comments can disappear before you even see them. Truly not healthy to let his negative energy into your world.

  • Just curious Rae… How did he respond to your response? It was mighty big of him to say what he felt, I hope he allowed you to say what you felt!
    Ps Lots of guys love cats and all shapes and sizes of women!

  • Some people, do indeed, have too much time on their hands.

  • It must be the week for standing up to bullies. Our daughter accidentally got one fired this week when she stood up for herself. I’m proud of both of you.

  • Folks, I have never been in direct contact with this guy. I just delete his messages when they come in. This is the first response he’s gotten from me. All quiet on his front so far.

  • You are spot on. Guys/bullies like him are not happy with themselves, and in most cases have a very shortcoming that they are compensating for*.
    * ala Lord Farquaad’s Palace in Shrek

  • Rae – enduring the infantile barbs of morons is but one unfortunate part of life. I suspect we’d have to undertake an archelogical dig to locate his backbone. The “road of life” has a wonderful way of sorting out bullies. However I agree with Tracey – women of all sizes are wonderful and yes, some of us real men do like cats!

  • I liken it to those who troll Youtube and “dislike” something, even if they have no clue what it’s about.
    I’m pretty sure Kevin will have to ask his Mom first if he’s about to take up any hobby that might raise his self esteem.
    Well, if she let’s him out of her basement.

  • bhaaa ca arrive encore malheureusement et c’est bien triste! It’s sad to deal with such narrow-minded people, he may be really jealous/envious of your lifestyle though 🙂

  • Hi Rae! I’ve been reading your blog for several months now. I have an interest in RVing, and although I’ve never done it, it’s a goal of ours on our bucket list. Your post was spot on. For some reason the internet draws bullies, I imagine because it’s a non-controntational forum and they can do it at will without repercussions. How silly. I guess occasionally they spark a fire in someone and cause them to react, but for the most part everyone ignores their lashings as sees them for what they are, people with insecurities and anger/rage issues that attack other people to falsely inflate their own self-esteem. I always think the same when I hear street gang members and thugs talking about how others must show respect for them, and I think, if you weren’t so insecure you wouldn’t care what others think, or if they respect you, because you would know regardless that you are worthy of respect. Why would they care what others think? Obviously Kevin has an interest in you, or he wouldn’t waste his time reading your blog and responding. My guess is he’s a 14 year old boy and isn’t very popular among his peers, but I think that about most internet trolls. Unfortunately he’s probably been teased alot himself. Have a great day!

  • Hi! Found your blog when looking at the RV lifestyle. Happened to be when you posted about this Kevin guy. Just want to say I admire you for putting yourself “out there” by blogging about your life. It takes a lot of guts and I appreciate your insights. Will be checking in to see what you’re up to! Oh, yes, Kevin is not worth wasting more time over. You are obviously a strong and capable person; he is a loser.

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