Fear and Loathing in the Okanagan

It wasn’t until I passed Oliver town limits this morning that I realised just how much I loathe that town and had no desire to come back to this part of Canada.

I know that ‘loathe’ is a loaded and serious word, but I do not use it lightly. Other than the friendships I made, nothing good came out of that place and I am a worse person for having been there. Since then, I have found myself to be wary of people in a way that is completely unjustifiable. I have been treated so well by so many since I hit the road, but the experience in Oliver poisoned my mind. I can barely recognize who I was while I was there and I know I am not the same person who pulled into that town just a little over two years ago.

In some respects, the changes are good. I’m more self-assertive and take much better care of myself, but in others the changes are devastating. I’m so wary of people’s intentions now and so much less willing to work hard and pitch in without a clear job definition and remuneration agreement.

It’s been two years and I’m still ‘not over it.’ Perhaps this winter in Osoyoos will help me pass through whatever mental obstacles I need to pass through. This RV park will probably be a refuge: it is beautiful and a good distance from the southern part of Osoyoos so I do not feel like I am even remotely in familiar surroundings. I don’t want to say too much lest I spoil surprises for Donna, so I’ll share pictures when she gets here. 🙂

The game plan now is to take the weekend off, tidy up the rig, and then start looking for income on Monday. I have a head start on that this time around in that I know that going to the wineries and handing out resumes on foot is a waste of time. Instead, I’ll head straight for the employment office and see what’s available. I’d really rather find contracts than a job so that I can have better control over my time this fall, especially since I’m flying to Montreal for a week on November 4th and I also have a lot of stuff to put together for that thing that’s coming up that I still can’t talk about.

I’m hopeful that coming back here was not a terrible mistake and will instead help me to close one of the darker chapters of my life. Knowing that I will literally be surrounded by friends soon enough makes all the difference.

That, and a pool. 😀

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4 Comments

  • I believe your thinking is right on this subject. When you start to make new memories and associations there, the old ones will recede and lose their power over you.
    At any rate, I’m glad you are giving it another chance, it really is the best place to be for winter weather in Canada.

  • When I was here last time, it hit twenty below for two weeks! It’s no wonder this place scares me! 😀

  • Keeping my fingers crossed for you this winter!

  • Bon chance Rae. Hopefully this ends up bein beaucoup wonderful for you 🙂

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